Paper cut…… On my elbow


I know I know it’s been too long since I’ve posted. It’s just that my whole life has been under renovation for the last few months and the dust still hasn’t quite settled. My new job is going well. I love the people I work with which makes it a bit easier to go everyday. The two year old has finally accepted day care and loves her new friends as well. She tells me every morning ‘It’s time for me to go play with my friends and my daddy will come get me when I’m done.’ We are all adjusting to the long days and the lack of fancy homemade dinners. Instead of homemade macaroni and cheese and the occasional Beef Wellington we now count on boxed macaroni and hamburger helper.
The building I am working in is a high rise downtown….. I work in the basement. The building has approximately 2288 windows……. I have not seen daylight during the work week in approximately 3.5 months. I joined a car pool to save the earth, time, money and so I wouldn’t have to drive downtown…… The last 2 times it’s snowed I have been nominated to drive because I have 4 wheel drive and the car pool minivan can’t make it up the hill. There are 35 Asian restaurants, 118 American, 140 casual dining, 59 fast food, 35 Mexican, and 21 Italian restaurants within walking distance…… I have eaten hummus, pita and an apple everyday except Friday (sandwich day) for the last few months (3.5 if anyone is counting). I miss my baby, I miss my house, I miss my yoga, I miss my mommy, I miss my sleep, I miss my cooking and today I got a paper cut….. On my elbow.
I have a good job…… That I like. We are officially moving closer to my house in less than 3 months…….. This office will have windows. It’s been a rough start but we are all slowly and surely becoming happier, healthier, less tired and more adjusted. I think once the paper cuts heal and we finish cleaning up all the dust we will be doing alright. Still missing our mommy’s but having fun playing with our friends.

If only a bandaid could cure it


I have been back to work for a month now and as you might be able to tell by the lack of posts things are a bit crazy. The two year old has been at home with her grandma or dad more than she has been at daycare. I’m pretty sure she sucked in all the germs available from all the other snot nose kids running around the place and balled them all up to make one super sickness. I knew it was bad when she asked her dad to please put a bandaid on her belly and make it all better.
I decided that battling rush hour traffic every night may actually kill me so I have started taking the train from suburbia to downtown everyday. It’s about an hour each way and $10 round trip but it is saving my sanity, calming my road rage, subduing my potty mouth and helping my family like me again. While sitting in traffic for one or two hours every night on the way home I would sit behind the wheel growing tenser by the minute and arrive home exhausted from yelling at all the idiots that refuse to use their blinker and have to switch lanes every two minutes even though no traffic has moved for over five minutes.
My house is a disaster. I would have to spend the entire weekend cleaning to get it back to acceptable. Since this is the last thing I want to be doing it is going to stay a mess until I just can’t take it anymore.
I’m hoping this next month I can find some kind of a routine and bring a little bit of normalcy back to our lives. I’m guessing with the holidays here that won’t be happening anytime soon but one can always hope. As long as we can stay healthy and happy for now I can let the little stuff go for a while. We’ll get there we may just have to stock up on bandaids and train tickets to make the ride there a little more tolerable.

Note to self, stop taking notes


First week back to work down. Twenty or thirty years left to go. I survived the drive downtown. I have not yet hit any pedestrians or side swiped any cars so I would say all in all it’s been a good week. I have only seen my family for a total of ten hours but I do have pictures of them at my desk, same difference right?
I like the people I work with. They make me laugh and that helps the day go by. It has become completely obvious to myself and everyone else that I work with that I have not been working for quite some time though. We were given the first week to complete our online courses, all of our HR documentation and use the rest of the time to self train ourselves on what we thought we needed to know. When I had completed my assigned duties I started printing off all the information I could find pertaining to my job duties. I meticulously read through all the pages highlighting information I found important and tabbing pages I thought I may need to find in the future. Two days into my studies a coworker stopped by my desk and almost fell to the floor from laughing so hard the moment she entered my work space.
‘What in the world is happening here?’ she asked me.
‘What are you talking about? I’m just making some notes.’ I told her a bit confused at the hilarity.
‘What’s with all the sticky notes here? And does anyone know you have used the entire companies supply of highlighters up in two days?’ she was now laughing even harder. ‘I’ll be right back’ she informed me.
I examined my desk after she left. Everything seemed very orderly to me and I didn’t think I was overly highlighting or excessively tabbing. Fine I had gone through three highlighters and two booklets of tabs but this was important stuff.
My coworker returned moments later with the rest of our team members and they all enjoyed a good twenty minutes of solid laughter. Apparently nobody uses highlighters, tabs or even printers anymore. You add things to favorites or save things in folders on your computer. Sorrrrry. I am a little behind here.
So I’m glad I could entertain the office for a day. I’m sure there will be more to come as I have three years of catching up to do. Technologically, environmentally, socially and mentally.

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Wrong way down a one way street


So I start my new job on Halloween. Only because i told them I need a couple weeks to find child care and it happens to be a Monday. This is just one of the problems I am facing in the weeks and months ahead. My new office is currently located downtown! Well I guess technically it is considered uptown but either way it is in the city and it is terrifying! I am a suburbs kinda girl all the way. In fact I rarely even leave the town I live in. I use to have to leave our city limits every once and a while before we got our very own Walmart and Home Depot but since then it’s very rare. Even my last job was only about four exits down the highway from where I live so no big deal. Downtown is a whole other business.
One way streets, huge buildings, pay for parking, and the not so pleasing characters roaming around on the streets. I can deal with ‘Stephanie TennisSweater’ at the local grocery store as snotty and rude as she maybe be but ‘Harry HeroineAdddict’ on the corner of 17th gives me heart palpitations.
My hands get sweaty from griping the steering wheel as I try to make my way around the giant building, bicyclists and people standing in the middle of the street. I am one of the worst parallel parkers ever and I have never been great with direction. So as you can see my biggest fear right now is the location of the job not the job itself. Downtown here I come, you may want to watch out for the crazy lady from the suburbs driving the wrong direction down the one way street.

Here we go again


It’s official! I have a job. Blog will be going from stay- at- home-mom blog to working mother of two blog. More importantly life will be going from stay-at-home-mom life to working mother of two life.
I did it before. Single parent full job but it seems like a life time ago. This time I have my husband but can I migrate back into the world of adults? Will I be excusing myself from meetings by announcing that I have to go potty? Will I reach across the lunch room table to vigorously scrub the crumbs off my coworkers chin?
I have given the twelve year old a cell phone. Something I swore I wouldn’t do but it is more for me than him. I need to be able to get a hold of him and since everyone in my house refuses to answer the home phone it was the only option.
The two year old will be attending day care. We took her for a visit and she loved everything about it. Let’s just hope she still loves it when I leave her there with out mommy, daddy or brother.
I have to go get a hair cut, buy some clothes and try to look presentable for the world again. Hopefully I will blend in and the tear streaked makeup from crying all the way to work after leaving my little ones doesn’t give me away as the lady who hasn’t done this in almost four years. Good luck.

Freaking Birds


I hate birds. I know that is a very strong word but I actually hate them. They scare me to death and large groups of birds make me physically ill.
I have never liked birds but I think the hatred started when I was about eight years old. My family and I were staying in a cabin next to a small pond. They would stock the pond with trout so that you would be guaranteed to catch a fish as long as you had a pole. This also guaranteed flocks of birds would be filling the pond as well. At first it was funny watching the birds duck their heads under the water as their back feathers bobbed on the surface but the fun didn’t last for long. Thats when I met my mortal enemy. ‘Mama Duck’! She was a big fat duck with a large bun looking ball plopped on top of her head and she decided to get me. She started running at me full speed, wings out, bun flopping and quaking in a high pitch yell. I ran as fast as I could but I was no match for Big Mama. She caught up with me in no time at all and started pecking and biting and flapping all over me. The rest is a blur but I can remember enough to be traumatized for life.
I was sitting outside the other day drinking my coffee when I hear a loud bang behind me. I looked up towards the house and a dead bird fell right in front of me. I screamed at the top of my lungs and flew across the deck. I looked through the window to see my husband doubled over in laughter. Apparently a bird had flown into the window and then fallen right down to me. I was terrified. My husband was completely entertained. Yet again I have been traumatized by a freaking bird.

By a car!


We had our first snow this weekend. Wasn’t expecting that one. It wasn’t a lot and it melted by the end of the day but it got me thinking. Winter is right around the corner.
I love winter. I love the snow and the cold. I do not love driving in the winter.
It’s not so much me driving in the snow as much as everyone one else driving in the snow. Last year I almost got ran over in my own front yard.
The kids and I were all home on a snow day. I had the twelve year old watch the two year old so I could go shovel the driveway. I had started on the sidewalk and was walking away from the mailbox when I heard a horrible noise and turned around to see a car coming right at me. I jumped out of the way and my mailbox took the digger for me. The kid got out of the car being very apologetic and making sure everything was alright. He helped me prop the mailbox back up and I found something in the garage to keep it standing. He apologized again and was on his way. I finished shoveling, a bit in shock still. It wasn’t until I got back inside that it occurred to me that I was almost run over. By a car!
I called my husband to let him know what happened. First words out of his mouth ‘Is the mailbox ok?’ Don’t worry about me. I think I can avoid Cardiac Arrest as soon as I get my heart to stop beating out of my chest. He wanted to know if I got his name and license plate number. Which of course I didn’t. Hello, I was almost run over. By a car!
Not ten minutes after I was in the house there was a knock at the door. The cops. Apparently someone had witnessed the whole thing and called it in with license plate number and all. I told the officer I was fine just a bit shaken up and hadn’t thought to call it in. She told me it was okay but since the driver hadn’t reported his car having been in an accident it was technically a hit and run. Oops.
Everything worked out okay. The kid admitted right away that he had hit the mailbox and they dropped his charges down to reckless driving. His father came over apologizing again and offered to pay for any damages. I will be using this story as an excuse why I can not shovel the drive way this winter and possibly next winter as well.

No barking Scarlet


We dog sat my in-laws dog for the long weekend. She is a beautiful red Vizsla. She is also the craziest, most hyper, most stubborn and did I mention craziest dog you will ever meet. She barked incisively if I was not standing directly next to her. I even had to stand outside with her while she did her business. I didn’t sleep for five nights in a row because the dog would bark, and bark, and bark all night long. She would stop barking for a little bit in the middle of the night but just as I would be falling asleep she would start barking again and not atop till I went to get her. Up for the day at 4:00 am.
She is also getting very old though you would never guess by looking at her. She can still jump straight up in the air and reach the top of the door frame, the stair case, the wall in pursuit of something she has become obsessed with (ie the children or the cat). Her old age is only noted by the many medications and special diet. We ran into I bit of a situation when we ran out of one of these medications and were having trouble getting the prescription transferred to our local Vet’s office. No big deal it was just the medication that stops her from leaking pee!
Was this the longest weekend of my life? Yes, but it wasn’t ALL bad. She is great with my dog and even better with the kids. My daughter actually cried when she left. She is a very sweet dog and we all love her very much, glad to be able to spend some time with her since she may not be with us much longer. The best part is that my husband is now convinced that we do not need another dog. Something I have been trying to tell him for the last few years. So until we see another puppy that he can’t live with out I think our family of one dad, one mom, one daughter, one son, one dog, one cat and a fish are complete.

Candy Police


My son had his birthday party with his friends this weekend. We let him invite three of his buddies over and my husband was taking them to a movie.
I am not going to complain about the movie tickets. All though, let me tell you that we have over ten theaters within a twenty mile radius of or home. All of these theaters charge $10.50 per adult and $7.50 per child the theater two miles away charges $13.00 per adult $10.50 per child. What?
I’m not complaining about online ‘conveniences’. We were going to buy the tickets online to save time. This luxury has an additional $1.25 per ticket fee. No thanks.
Concessions on the other hand, big problem with. I decided to buy each kid a treat from the dollar store. I figured this would save us about $100 since the boxes of candy I bought were two for a dollar and the going price at the theater was half a box for $10. I handed each boy their box as they were getting their jackets on to leave. They looked at me as if I had asked them to rob a bank. ‘It’s fine’ I told them ‘and I’m the mom so it’s my sin not yours.’ Sorry but I just can’t bring myself to pay ten times the amount for candy. Maybe if they were a little more reasonable I would consider it but come on you spend more at the concession stand than you do on tickets. My husband said it was quite comical watching these kids. One of them looked like he was carrying a concealed weapon with both hands inside his jacket, arms crossed looking around for the candy police
The kids behind the counter are trained for these situations too. I’m pretty sure its the ‘Take their money anyway you can’ training video. A friend of mine went to the theater and was purchasing concessions (they must be better off than I thought). She was carrying her water bottle not even thinking about it. She placed her order and the total was $50. She thought this was odd because she only ordered a popcorn and a soda which should have been closer to $40 but she was in a hurry so she paid the kid and made her way to the theater. When she sat down she examined the receipt. Popcorn $20, large soda $20, water $10. They charged her for her own water!
So I don’t really feel that bad. Hopefully I haven’t traumatized them too badly of course my son is use to it but the others may not be allowed over again.

And it wasn’t even that bad


BOOM! I’m an Auntie. My sister had her first baby two days ago and she is perfect. She was born on October fourth so she is sandwiched right in between my two kids.
I got the call around five o’clock my sister was having contractions closer and closer together. By seven they were checking into the hospital. No big deal these things take forever. Think again.
My brother in law called to tell me she was getting her epidural and I could come over whenever I wanted. My sister had asked me to be there with her if I could and since my husband was home with the kids I was planning on staying as long as possible. My mom and I headed out stopping at the store for some snacks and entertainment to pass the time. We had taken separate cars incase I had to get home and as I pulled my car into a space at the hospital a crazy lady ran out in front of me waving her arms, jumping up and down yelling baby, baby, baby. It was my mother. I opened the car door trying to gather my things for the evening. I knew my sister was there having a baby, what’s with the theatrics? She managed to tell me ‘it’s coming now’ so I started running with her still in a bit of a confusion.
We had no idea where we were going so we ran up and down the hallways frantically looking for room 2301. There was no 2301. I walked into every ’01 room I could find. My mom was yelling out my sisters name through the library like silence. Finally we found room LD1 and recognized the screaming behind the door. My mom burst in and ran towards my sister. I was still behind the curtain when I heard my sister tell the doctor ‘ We are still waiting for one more. My sister is still coming.’ as if she were waiting to seat her party at Chili’s. Right then she saw me and her eyes widened as she realized there were no more excuses. ‘I’m not ready!’ She cried. I ran up to hold her hand as she was shaking her head no. She instantly found another excuse as her husband family had not yet arrived. I ran out to the hall to retrieve his sister, whom we had flown past as we bolted through the ward, loosing all direction on the way back. We finally found our way to the room again and it was go time.
Exactly twenty minutes from the time we flew through the hospital doors and three pushes later there she was. A perfect little angel. Everyone cried and hugged. My sister laying there in a bit of shock. She looked up at me and smiled. ‘I love her and it wasn’t even that bad.’ Good job sissy.

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